The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a "virtue" that corrodes self-esteem. - Nathaniel Branden
Self-esteem is not a luxury; it is a profound spiritual need. - Nathaniel Branden
All positive interactions with other human beings involve, to some degree, the experience of visibility-- that is, the experience of being seen and understood. - Nathaniel Branden
Suffering is just about the easiest of all human activities; being happy is just about the hardest. And happiness requires, not surrender to guilt, but emancipation from guilt. - Nathaniel Branden
A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness. - Nathaniel Branden
Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves--their convictions and their aspirations--every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them. - Nathaniel Branden
It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively--which means to live authentically--is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding--from others and also from themselves. - Nathaniel Branden
Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion. - Nathaniel Branden
Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves. - Nathaniel Branden
It is humiliating to realize that when you drive yourself underground, when you fake who you are, often you do so for people you do not even like or respect. - Nathaniel Branden
The challenge for people today--and it is not and easy one--is to maintain high personal standards even while feeling that one is living in a moral sewer. - Nathaniel Branden
We are parts of one universe, true enough. We stand within an almost infinite network of relationships. Yet each of us is a single point of consciousness, a unique event, a private, unrepeatable world. This is the essence of our aloneness. - Nathaniel Branden
In any culture, subculture, or family in which belief is valued above thought, and self-surrender is valued above self-expression, and conformity is valued above integrity, those who preserve their self-esteem are likely to be heroic exceptions. - Nathaniel Branden
The first act of honoring the self is the assertion of consciousness: the choice to think, to be aware, to send the searchlight of consciousness outward toward the world and inward toward our own being. To default on this effort is to default on the self at the most basic level. - Nathaniel Branden
One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs. - Nathaniel Branden
Integrity is congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do. - Nathaniel Branden
Self-discipline is the ability to organize your behavior over time in the service of specific goals. - Nathaniel Branden
To honor the self is to be willing to think independently, to live by our own mind, and to have the courage of our own perceptions. - Nathaniel Branden
It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert. - Nathaniel Branden
If you choose not to live self-responsibly, you count on others to make up your default. No one abjures self-responsibility on a desert island. - Nathaniel Branden